Home & Hearth & Angst

For the past several years, wanting to buy a home, a stationary place to call my own, has been the driving force in my life. Making the desire a reality has been bittersweet, however. And as last year's events came crashing down on top of me, my children have reminded me just how wonderful it was to have a home, and how happy they were in Ogden at the house I rented for 2 years.

Now, every time I call them in Georgia, where that woman they call a mother moved them, they talk about the times we had there. They miss their toys now in storage, the camping trips up the canyon around the lake, the basement they said they were afraid of, but now miss because of the two play-rooms; One with the "Playhut" 2 room tent with Leila's play kitchen, Saalem's tent and t-pee with connecting tunnels, and the other with the Thomas Train track and Lego Coast Guard set.

I have moved every two years since meeting Karima from Hollywood to North Hollywood, from Cedar City to Ogden, and now to Provo. Not to mention helping to pack HER apartment, driving to GA, and unpacking again. It is as if I am living on the road without the fun of it. Half of last year living in my car and moving twice in Provo, now to find myself sharing a room with a twin size bed and a closet to call my own.

I now long for two things: One, to own a condo at the end of N. University Ave in this wonderful little one level outdoor mall with restaurants and a movie theater, where I ironically took the kids to see Star Wars - Clone Wars when their mother wanted to see a concert in Orem. And two, to own that five acre parcel on Driftwood in Enoch (adjacent to Cedar City) where I could put an IRC manufactured home on a full basement with a 10:12 roof pitch and second story.

Even now, I'm procrastinating studying for this new job because I know just how much I'm really worth as a writer if I could only get published... If I had to live like this, I would prefer it out of a suitcase, traveling the country for book-signings, like George Clooney in "Up In The Air." Now my stories are something I could really sell...